Question: I think I like a boy next class. Lots of my friends have boyfriends and girlfriends, I wish to have a boyfriend too.

Answer:

            According to some surveys, the earliest age to feel an affection for someone could be at the age of kindergarten. Must we have a relationship every time we like someone? Must I catch up just because my classmates are in a relationship? Is it alright for teenagers to be in a relationship? I could still recall teachers reminding us that students aren’t matured enough and should focus on their academic. Nevertheless, teenagers always tend to be influenced by dramas or their own emotion. Many teenagers tend to rush themselves into a relationship.

            I remember there was once a little girl who came crying to me, her name was Sharpay. She said that “I misunderstood my boyfriend. He got mad and wanted to break up with me. I feel so depressed. I don’t want to go to school anymore!” She told me that “I broke up with my previous boyfriend not because I didn’t like him, but because we were just pushed together by our friends. But this time, it’s different. This boyfriend is really really good…” Sharpay is a kind girl. She would rather getting hurt than hurting any other people. From what we see here, there could be several possible problems: Being with an opposite gender for too long, not knowing how to break up? What if he asked to have sexual activity with me? How should I refuse?

            “Love” must be learned, but what does a matured love consist of? In general, we need “respect”, “care”, and “responsibility”. If we do not have what we mentioned earlier, then it is not a matured love. Nowadays, we could always hear news of teenagers getting pregnant or sexually harassed by friends known from the internet.

            During the adolescence stage, we should train ourselves to have the skills to manage relationship. These include the ability to self-observe, to decide, to solve, to protect ourselves, and to avoid causing any trouble. The following explanation may aid you:

1, self-observation

            My current emotion is _______, and the cause of such emotion is _______. My current thought is _______, and it could lead to a result of ______.

2, the ability to decide

            On our rational or irrational thoughts, are we able to make a decision rationally?

3, the ability to solve problems

            What should we do when we “like” someone? List out whatever you could do and look for a rational method, then predict the outcome of such action.

            A famous author Xi MuRong once mentioned, “If we had to stay away from someone whom we fall in love with someone when we’re young, we should tell them goodbye with a thankful heart. If we could do that, our youth will have no regrets. It’s just like the moon hanging quietly above the hill.” To learn how to “love” and “respect” the opposite gender is an important lesson on our journey of growth.

            Mr. Ikeda written in his book, “Discussing your future with your parents and seniors isn’t an old method. From this, we could get enlightened. It could be the most inspiring compass needle.” We must learn to accept opinions from our parents and seniors. After all, they’ve been through situations like this and could give you a wider view on what’s happening. No matter what problem troubles you, please remember to discuss it with someone.

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