Sunday, July 15, 2012
How do I say "No"?

Question: I think that I’m a coward because and dare not refuse some of my classmates who asked me to join their organization. What should I do?

Answer:

Every now and then, we can hear some of the students bullying the rest in the schools. Incidents like this usually happen when there are multiple students bullying one or two. Some of the students even had no intention of doing so. But they had no knowledge about what they should or shouldn’t do. Most these cases turn out to be a very regretful event of their life. Therefore, we see the importance of choosing the right friends in school.

But how should we pick our friends in school? We always hear our parents’ or some elders telling us to be with good friends. But how should we judge on that?

“Good friends” are referring to the ones who’ve come for true friendship; they are the sincere ones that you could trust; they are also the ones where you learn from and learn with.

“Bad friends” referred those who pretend to be mighty; people who make friends from pleasing another; people who talk about nothing good. If you acquire the support, trust, and encouragement from a bunch of good friends at this stage, you will soon grow up to be someone successful and capable. In contrary, bad friends will only bring negative influence to you.

But if you said that you’re coward and that you couldn’t refuse your classmates, you should know that most people are cowards too. For example, we’re usually shy during the first time when we try to talk to a friend of an opposite gender. Or have you been chose to speak something on the stage in the school? That nervous feeling makes you tensed up. Therefore, it is never a shortcoming to be coward and you’re not the only one being so. However, it is very great that you know yourself well. You could think of ways to solve situations you’ve been through, that means you’re a sincere person.

Coming back to your question, it all depends on the nature of that “organization” you mentioned. If it were some societies and clubs about sports or certain subjects in the school, and be in faith with yourself. Trust yourself that you can handle it and give it a try. If these were beneficial activities to your growth and learning, go ahead.
On the other hand, if it were some “organization” they call themselves where they skip classes and bully other students together, you must stand up bravely and refuse them. These activities are ones that stop you from growing, therefore you must learn to say “NO”. Below are a few of my suggestions to you.

1, construct a positive and strong heart for yourself
“Plum, peaches, blossom and damson” are all distinctively representing its own strength. Believe that you are special too and there is no other people who could replace you.
2, take the initiative to make new friends
Take the first move to make friends with your classmates that are sincere to their studies, polite and kind. These are examples of good friends.
3, be courageous to reach out for help
If you come across to being threatened by the bad friends, you should report to your teachers, parents or call for the emergency number for help.

Mr. Ikeda once said that “We cannot be too withdrawn from the society and live in our own world. No one can survive alone, or else we would slowly become a self-centred person who couldn’t achieve a single thing.” There is no doubt that friends are a major part of our learning progress. Hence, we must always enrich ourselves with friends of wisdom and be brave to stay away from the bad friends.


Shared by,
Rainbow.

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Written at 9:56 PM by Paper Pilot.