Monday, June 11, 2012
Love?

Question: I wish to have a girlfriend, but my parents said no as it will affect my studies.

Answer:

Can we have boyfriends/girlfriends while we’re still in school? Unfortunately there is never an absolute answer to that. However, we could study about that in a few aspects. Firstly, this is an essential period for you to build up the foundation of your life (primary to high school). This happen to be the golden era for you to learn, but in the same time, being one of the tough moments of your life as well. Let me describe this in some other way. Take the skyscrapers’ foundation as an example. Such crucial foundation must be made as a whole in a short time before it becomes solid. If we fail to achieve that, we might not be able to build a high rise building. The construction of knowledge works the same way. If we had no support from the foundation, then we will soon struggle as we build the higher levels. There is no doubt that we can succeed in any field, however we must make sure we do not regret someday of not allowing ourselves to wave our full potential. Education for you at this very moment, is a lesson needed for the construction of your personality, knowledge, and ability. Before we get into the consideration of having a boyfriend/girlfriend, we must first consider this.

By gathering youths’ impression and opinion towards such relationship, we may find ourselves looking at examples listed below:

1.      Unable to stop thinking about each other, stealing your attention away from learning. People end up seeing each other more than their books.
2.      Emotion changes unexpectedly. Affecting each other’s emotion.
3.      Could end up being anxious and emotional, not knowing if the person you like has the same feeling towards you.
4.      Getting troubled in decision making. Example: Should I meet him/her or should I stay for my homework?
5.      Words you say during a relationship could provoke sexual behaviour. Having no knowledge in this may also lead to problems like unwanted pregnancy. In the end, people might end up not knowing what to do and getting troubled and regretful.

After consideration, you may choose to put the feelings you had towards the one you like inside your heart. Enrich yourself, construct yourself and when you do, you could re-consider of having a relationship with him/her again if you still have the same feeling when you got older. If you didn’t know what to do with your feelings, I’d suggest you to treat him/her as a usual friend so that you do not get over-influenced by the “chemistry of love”. This not only saves you, but protects others too. However, you must remember to be truthful and respect each other.  Being truthful means that you would never lie to that person and be who you are. This is because when you lie, you may make others misunderstand you and you may even hurt someone’s feeling. Other than that, keep in mind to respect other people’s feeling as well. If he/she does not feel like starting something with you, don’t force them to.

When we make friends, never forget that we have a mission to study well and to protect each other. We must never forget that. In addition, we must have someone elder that we can speak to. When you come across to some problems or questions, there must be someone reliable for you to talk to. During youth, we may treat our friends’ words greater than our parents’. But come to think of it, those who think for your future are your parents. Look for an elder that you trust and discuss your feelings and thoughts with them.

Mr. Ikeda once said that “Why not look towards the future together, rather than looking at each other?” Nichiren Daishonin teaches “the best way to attain Buddhahood is to encounter a good friend.” No matter if it’s a girlfriend/boyfriend or just a friend, what’s important is to be each other’s good friends. Hence, we must never stop enriching ourselves. Grow and learn to be a matured person with good character, and you could have a good friendship and love in the future. I wish for your happiness, Strive hard!


Shared by,
Rainbow.

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Written at 10:08 PM by Paper Pilot.