Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Making Comparison
Question:
Parents often make a comparison between me and others, denying my ability. It made me feel so bad…


Answer:
I believe you must have had a hard time and felt bad for being compared and discouraged by your parents. Truthfully, parents often hold high expectations toward their children. Children are always expected for excellence, at times, parents may happen to compare you with others without taking your feeling into account, consequently you may feel bad and unease from within because your parent's expectation meant a lot to you. You don't want to disappoint them because you wanted to do well, I believe that you must a good child.


Parents may not comprehend your point of view because they do not share the same role as you do. If you were to muster up the courage to tell them about your point of view, I believe your parents would have comprehend you better. If you do not prefer to verbally voice out, you may express them in words by writing a letter. Through a mutual communication, you could come out with a solution to this conflict. Anyhow, we must not resort to rebellion nor quarrel, to whatsoever means that will make them worry about because it may not mitigate problems. Instead, the more prudent way to mitigate conflict is to voice out your thought courageously.

However, we must not make our parents worry. Instead we should earn trust from them through our actions and daily conducts, with that, parents respect your thoughts better. At times, promises made to parents must be fulfilled at any cost to gain credibility from parents as well.


Ikeda Sensei had once said that life is not a smooth sailing course, it's ourselves that we need to deal with. We challenge to surpass ourselves and aim for self-victory. Through pondering, we know what we wanted to do. Regardless of how tough the course is, we would not feel frustrated because we are the one who decisively chose our own path. Those who worked hard are bound to be outstanding people and they are likely to become versatile leaders for the society.

If you're still puzzled out, the best way is to resort to chanting, by confiding your problem to Gohonzon. Moreover, it's always a good option to discuss and share your problem with a trustworthy companion, for instance a sibling or a close partner will do. Listening to their advice and come out with a way would be resourceful as well.

Try to put yourself into the parent's shoes, for the sake of who they’ve worked hard to earn a living everyday? It's to bring us up. They thoughtfully take care of us and all the time staying by our side as we grow matured. This is because their love to us is relentless and doesn't seek for a repay. Thus, we must be filial, by playing our role and responsibility well for not making them worry, that's already a means of being filial.

Parents may be annoying at times, but they were merely caring, and loving us. They have faith in us and are always being anticipative. I believe that if only you vow to work hard and constantly progress, parents would absolutely notice your improvement, that's also the best way to repay them.

Ikeda Sensei once mentioned “The crucial part is to prevail over ourselves! By comparing ourselves from yesterday, and seek one step forward to progress for today. By comparing ourselves from today and seek to improve for the better on tomorrow. Those who do so will absolutely achieve their ultimate goal at the end.” In other words, we don't compare with other people but to ourselves, our past that we had lived through yesterday. Moving forward with a step by another, that's the way of a true victor! The key is to not feel disappointed and constantly work hard to move forward, even if your progress is slow as a snail. This would ultimately lead you to a fulfilled and victorious life.

  
Shared by,
Wee Yean.

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Written at 4:20 PM by Paper Pilot.