Tuesday, December 27, 2011
A Dream Car and A Dear Son

With his saving throughout the 10 years of his working life, Robert finally bought himself a dream car. He drove his car happily back home and intended to wash it outside his garage.

His 5 year old son, on the other hand, wanted to help him. So he got into the kitchen and took a steel wool which is what he saw his mother would use to clean the dishes. After rinsing the steel wool, the child began to scratch the car.

However, the father was on the other side, happily washing his dream car. While he walked towards the other side of the car, he finally found out what his son was doing. He yelled “Oh my god!” There were scratches on his precious dream car!

When he heard his father yelling, he looked up happily and said “Daddy, look! I’m washing your car for you.” He pointed to the scratches as he explained to his father. But as he turned around and looked properly at those scratches, he was terrified.

The terrified kid looked down and prepared himself for punishment.

“What should I do? How should I punish my son? This is my brand new dream car!” the father thought furiously. Being in such contradiction, he suddenly squatted down and hugged his crying son. “Silly kid, I should thank you for washing the car for me. Daddy really loves his dream car, but he’d love you more.”




Postscript:


Let’s imagine that we’re the father of that kid. On one side, we have a dream car and our dearest child on another side. What would we do? If the father would have been overcome by his anger, I suppose the kid would have been punished. The kid could have been beaten. But what comes next? It did not help anything but to leave scars in the child’s heart.

Before we decide to punish our children, we must understand their very first intention. If they intended to do good deeds but ended poorly, we mustn’t punish them. What’s important is that we know ‘why they’d do’ that rather than focusing on ‘what they’ve done’. It’s often that we tend to put too much of emotion on the outcome of an incident. In the end, it’s leading us to misjudging our children while we’re ruled by anger.

I’ve read about a story long ago. There was a city being affected by Typhoon. The whole city was plunged into darkness as the Typhoon affected the electricity supply. There was a mother and a daughter who used torchlights to lit their way in the house. The girl told her mother “I love typhoon.” The mother was shocked at the first time, and asked for the reason to her statement. Her daughter then explained “Because the electricity will be out when there’s a Typhoon.” The mother asked again for why she’d like the house to be in darkness. “I remember last time when I put the torchlight on my head, you said I looked like a little angel.” Children often do this to acquire their parents’ appreciation and admiration. As for the little boy in the story mentioned earlier, he intended to help but did it wrongly. But we must never comment that he intended to destroy his father’s car by judging on the outcome.

Nowadays both parents work to support the family. But as the parents got busier, the children would be left home being neglected. “I’ve been really busy. Why must you get on my nerves when I could finally enjoy my holiday?” Dear mothers and fathers, have you understood that this is a way our children express themselves? In everyone’s heart, there lived a child disregarding of your biological age. That kid who likes to play is supposed to be there to tell that “I need to be loved.” By that time, we must know that it’s not a time to blame the children, but to think of ways to understand them and to learn if we had really neglected them.

There must be a few of those mischievous kids in the JD meet. Sometimes, they might have done something that triggers your anger.

My dear JD PICs, have you received the signals from our children? It’s time for dialogue. It’s quite often that when they understood your sincerity, they’d stop being mischievous. This is just a way they use to express love, so please do not blame them. As JD PICs, we must have a heart to nurture. The children are like sprouts, waiting to grow into big trees. And we’re the ones to take care of them. It is a difficult challenge learning to listen to their hearts. But it is a very essential step that we must take.

We might often see Ikeda Sensei touching the children’s heart in just a sentence or two. Is it a talent? Well it’s actually not. It is the state of being that allows Sensei to see things that we don’t usually realize. This is also because Sensei has a heart that respects the children sincerely. When you defy the kids, you’ll only see how bad they are. But if you learn to admire the children, you’ll see that there are some unique signals given by every child.



Shared by,
Wee Yean.

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Written at 6:07 PM by Paper Pilot.