Thursday, August 25, 2011
Mutual Friendship

I hope that all parents could become their children’s best friend; there are no parents in this world who wouldn’t love their children. I hope parents could incorporate friends-like relationship with their children. When friendship is established, parents would respect their children, acknowledging the noble dignity their children possess within their lives.  
-      Mr. Ikeda

Every family and every parents has their own method of educating their children, to sum it up, it is all for the well being of their children. Perhaps some parents may be very strict towards their children, controlling their whereabouts. But, we must understand that in this tumultuous world we are living in at present, restraining them from going anywhere is for the sake of the children’s well being.

On the contrary, some parents give their children the greatest freedom, perhaps it’s the for the intention of enabling their children to confidently make decisions, giving them freedom for the sake of their children’s own good. Hence, there is no scale to measure the commitments the parents sacrificed and there is no grade evaluation to the extent their efforts, it is because they are still learning what parenting truly is. So what kind of parents is considered as an ideal parent? The parents who are willing to work hard and earnestly contribute towards the family. Regardless of the teaching method they may implement, every area requires certain efforts to be able to effectively educate their children.

Every Thursday from eleven to half past eleven, Astro Wah Lai Toi would broadcast a show called ‘Parents’ Stories’. It is a reality show based on real life interviews with the parents’ children where together they explore the problems or issues currently encountered by the children. The subject is mainly targeted on high school students who are currently in their rebellious stage, but similarly within this show, we could draw a lot of inspiration and perspective on parenting. 

A father in one of the episodes left me a very deep impression. When this father was young, he was also very impetuous in his youth and because of that he dropped out of school and started working. As a result, he understood that people without qualifications are bound to face greater problems than many others and that their future would be exceptionally challenging. When his son brought up the issue of quitting school, he was shocked and opposed his decision. But after he knew his child’s intentions, he also understood that his child is apathetic towards studies hence he advised his child to carefully think it over and told him that he must bear responsibility of his own future.

Hence, the son quitted school and helped his dad in their fried chicken stall and learnt from the basics. From learning how to pick and buy chickens, to the correct method of frying chicken, he wholeheartedly learn everything he was taught. And every time he made a mistake, his father would treat him strictly like how he treats others.  They get along well with each other like friends and they feel comfortable with each other; hence, there is no generation gap problem between them. The father said: ‘I treat my child as my friend.’ Isn’t this similar to what Ikeda sensei said?

The most heartwarming thing is there was one incident when they organized a barbeque party at home where his son was so engrossed in play and doesn’t want to take a bath. Then after continuous nagging from his dad, he finally took his clothes and went to take a bath. Out of the blue, he suddenly ran back to the barbeque area. His father who was sitting on the sofa was burning with anger and forcefully left a red and hot five fingered hill mark on his face. Subsequently, when the misunderstanding was finally cleared, they came to know that the reason the son didn’t want to take a bath earlier is because he wanted to barbeque chicken wings for his dad and that the reason he rushed out halfway is because he was worried that the chicken wings may get burnt. To dispel the misunderstanding between them, the father took out an ointment and applied it on his son’s face in the middle of the night. Tears streamed down his son’s face where the hot feeling still lingered, and because of that he was moved to tears.

Similarly, as Junior Division’s Person in Charge, we mustn’t view children as childish or difficult to handle. If you feel that you came for the purpose of controlling them, then you’re making a great mistake. Likewise parents, when we are fostering the Junior Division members, we should also include friendship and not our own presumption thinking that we are exceptional than them in many ways acting arrogantly and demand them to listen to us. 

Approaching a child isn’t a difficult task, as long as we take the first step to listen, share and treat them as our friends eventually the gap between us would slowly reduce. Ultimately, everyone’s objective is the same; it isn’t to ascertain anyone’s reputation but it is for the sake of the children’s happiness.

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Written at 9:47 PM by Paper Pilot.