Interpersonal relationship is the best way to express one’s life state, to further expand one’s interpersonal relationship is equivalent to expanding one’s life condition.
—Mr. Ikeda

In life, we will come across different types of interpersonal relationships, say for example friendships, relation among family members, romantic relationship or work related relation and so on. All these relations are in fact like what the guidance said, serving as a test of our life condition as well as our own human revolution. How is that so?

Everybody possesses desirable qualities and shortcomings of their own. Hence, there will inevitably be difference in our attitude when meeting towards outsiders and our own family members. We’d treat friends whom we are not close to with more courtesy and consideration, whereas when we are around our own family members or friends who knows us very well, we aren’t that reserved, instead, we are able to openly express our true self, for example our bad temper, our always complaining character, procrastinating attitude or indifference in our style of conversation, etc. Other people might not always tolerate us and that is also why conflicts and problems of getting along occurs which eventually leads to serious interpersonal relationship problems.   

One who cannot maintain a good relationship with others may perhaps have some intolerable personalities, for example, easily infuriated or antisocial. If this situation worsens, that person won’t be able to see their problems clearly, instead, they will become narrow minded. On the contrary, if we are able to courageously confront our shortcomings and slowly change, everything will develop towards the positive direction. When we’re able to overcome our own shortcomings, it proves that we’ve prevailed over our own limitations, a great step towards advancement.

Hence, first of all we must do our human revolution and also learn to tolerate others but not assuming that ‘this is my innate personality, it can never be changed’. All this comes down to our own human revolution. It is similar to a person taking a time out to control his emotions when he’s feeling infuriated. Whenever he feels like scolding people, he would control himself and understand the unpleasant feeling others felt as a result being scolded.  That person will gradually become a person who will be considerate of others. This is how we change ourselves where in turn, we’re expanding our interpersonal relations as well as our life condition.

Mr. Ikeda once said: ‘A change in us will create change in our environment. This is the principle of ‘human revolution’ we must never be defeated! We must gain victory! Whenever we make such resolve, all hardships and problems will turn into our own human revolution as well as the glorious treasure of our lives!’

All this while, people pursue material possessions and social status where they’ve forgotten the fundamental beauty of interpersonal relationships created through the sparks of our interaction with others. By turning such negative actions in our society where human relations are incriminated, hostility, people taking advantage of each other, flattering each other into positive greetings, chit chat, getting to know each other more, caring for each other or even sacrificing for nothing in return….Whenever we selflessly contribute, we are accumulating ‘Treasure of the heart’ within our lives!

Besides that, we’ll learn about contributing for the sake of others as well as putting others into consideration in our interpersonal relationships. Our organization is the best place for us to practice it. As long as there are places with people, there will definitely be rumours; hence, arguments are inevitable in our activities with the members or leaders. Everyone has their own opinions and outlook on matters but when we look at it from a different perspective, everyone wishes to improve and so we must be broad-minded. It is alright even though there are times when our opinions aren’t accepted but for as long as we do our utmost to contribute, it is enough. We are gradually moulding ourselves expanding our interpersonal relationship through our participation in our Soka activities as well as our relations with others.

Everyone invariably encounters interpersonal relationship problems and you shouldn’t be afraid because we have the supreme Mystic Law. For as long as we chant earnestly to Gohonzon, everything will develop constructively. We’d encounter times where we hated someone for their particular attitude or find that we are unable to get along with others. When that happens, as long as we chant for the happiness of ourselves and others, we will eventually find that anything can be resolved. Changing ourselves isn’t an easy task, but the most important thing is that we must muster up the courage to face it otherwise it is pointless no matter how much we may say. As long as we put in effort and never give up, we will eventually succeed.

When we look at it closely, good interpersonal relationships could actually bring about world peace. Interpersonal relationships shouldn’t be established on arrogance or self interest, instead, we should cherish everything that we encounter, everyone we meet and be considerate towards others. Just as what was mentioned in the peace proposal, now is the era of void of values where a deep sense of nihilism and money worshipping pervades. If everyone thinks for the happiness of entire humanity, we are able to live in harmony and mutually support each other and the recent bombing between North and South Korea can be avoided. Although the desire for peace is still distant, let us start from ourselves because a great human revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a society and further, will enable a change in the destiny of all humankind! 

Labels: e. Words of mentor